Friday, November 4, 2011

Gallagher's House

I have to admit that I enjoyed our conversation on Thursday (symposiums aside) perhaps most of all of our classes. Though, at times I felt as if we were interrogating Chloe... Who are you? What do you want to express? Tell us everything so we don't have to resort to drastic measures. I don't care a lick about the Geneva Conventions, I'LL THEORIZE YOU if you don't tell me what I want to know.

I felt like the conversation was fascinating, though. I've always been curious about potentiality and singularity, questions of the self and subject, and even though I feel like a blundering idiot when I talk about it, I enjoy the muck and mire of it. Of feeling my way through. Gut first. Words stumbling to catch up with the rest of me. 

For me, asking if the venue had an effect is very different from asking if the change of venue did. Or more accurately, if our changing the venue had an effect. When I think about the first question, I think about things that wouldn't have happened if we hadn't been at your house. We wouldn't have seen your (Gallagher's) daughter walk in and out of the room seven times, as if she were fascinated by seeing you in teacher-mode. We couldn't have had the same awkwardness about seating: not having enough, bets on whether or not I would sit in the big black chair, or the ability to disappear comfortably into the room's decor. 

In many ways, the place worked the exact same. It was a room, uncomfortable for some of us (perhaps those seated on the floor or Erin, who I never think was sold on the idea but was an excellent chap about it), where we talked about some ideas. Holding some ideas back because we were worried they might sound to others. Or waited to talk because we couldn't really understand what people were debating (or felt like people were talking past one another). Or chose not to talk because we didn't want to share our brilliance. After the class, I still had conversations with people about the things we talked and didn't talk about. A meta-commentary about the conversations we did have occurred. 

I do feel like there was a difference, but it is hard to put my finger on what it was. I feel like our changing the venue gave it an... affective energy... ew, gross... I sound like a mystic... But it did. It was less the place, and more that we'd chosen it. It might have been a joke of sorts, but it was a joke we had control over. And I think it is too easy to call it "just a lark" - though that might be exactly what it was. I realize fully that I am... how should I put this... a little weird. Rather than a classroom malcontent who stirs up trouble, I'd like to think of myself as a classroom miscontent who just disrupts the standard flow in generally innocuous ways. 

But I think there is a benefit to this. Occupy Gallagher's House didn't fit the usual scripts for how students behave in class. Both the blog effort and the class where we went to your house. Because it didn't fit the scripts, it gave it a different affect. When blogging, I felt so nervous and awkward about how you'd respond - much like when I wrote a Manifesto Against Inquiry Notebooks. And even after having verbal confirmation from everyone that they would do it, I know that people waited to post because no one wanted to be the second person to "Occupy." Even though they had it worked into the post. (I cite Chloe and Donna) The awkwardness/excitedness/whateverness and energy is akin to "breaking the rules" - despite having broken none. And when people talked about it, they'd talk about it in the same way. Do you think he'll be mad? (As if we hadn't completed the assignment) 

Breaking with the script, involved crafting a different relationship and, I would say, a different identity. Not that the group action would create the same identity. I think I can say fairly confidently that I am as much a joke to the other students as I am a colleague, that Occupy Gallagher's House was undertaken at least as much to humor me as it was actual interest in occupying your house. But breaking with the scripts provided room to craft a different social identity because the rules of the game, the scripts for how to act in class, were disrupted. 

The funny thing about being in your house was that the scripts weren't disrupted for us. But they were for you.  And it was visible in the briefest of moments. When your daughter was in the doorway of the kitchen, for example. And while it might not have been a disruption for you, watching you balance your different roles disrupted our (or at least my) perception of how your authority works. Similarly, when Kristi was doing her symposium, you took on the role of a student (until you started checking your watch that is). Perhaps that was part of your chuckle when I asked you if you wanted to be my partner, a recognition of the change in roles. Or it might have been as much an of-course-you'd-be-the-one-I-work-with chuckle. How people interpret and engage the disruption of scripts will of course vary. Scripts are comfortable, as are the identities and power relations they bring with them. Some might not be comfortable with upsetting it. Or might not even notice it if they interact in the same way. But I think the space opened up is useful. 

Another thing I find useful about the mere joke of it all is it binds the class in a very interesting way. Ask anyone in the class. This class feels different from most. It's in part because of the space you allow for these shenanigans. And I think, in part, because of the innocuous disruptions that happen in the class. My being a joke lets people laugh at something together as a group. Even if it's a rolling our eyes kind of way. And this makes me sound like a wise and magnanimous puppeteer of people in your classroom or an eccentric martyr, but for me, it had nothing to do with how people respond, binding the group, etc. It never has. I just wanted to do it. To see how it would work out. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

In Honor of the Occupation...


Occupy Academia: A context-changing analysis of contextualizing nano-informatic structures

Cham, J. G.*, Slackenerny, M. A. and Smith, B. S.
*California University of Technology, Pasadena, CA
Stanford Institute Center, Palo Alto, CA

(Received in final form 21 October 2011)

Abstract
This paper presents an alternative visual web-enabled interpretation of the short-based graphical sequential narration titled Occupy Academia (OCC). It is hypothesized that use of this secondary interface suffused with third-person linguistic usage and academic spatial distribution will provide improvement in perceived acumen generated from stochastic interactions with supervisory archtypes found in learning environments. Results show that persistent exposure to phdcomics dot com (PDC) is mildly correlated to jocular deportment, which suggests improvements in temporal-delay behavior of bounded activity.

A Comment Originally Intended for Chloe's Blog...

So... this post started out as a comment on Chloe's post. But then it kind of snowballed. So, I felt bad and moved it here.

I guess I am curious about all this real Chloe and authentic Chloe. It sounds as if we are talking about some deep buried kernel of a self, like an Eden, and if we could just get to it... well... then, then things would be good. Perhaps this is a bit radical of a claim (then again, perhaps not), I don't know that I believe in that kernel. For anyone. I/we/he/she/it is multiple, enacted in each different performance. Each facet of our ecology might lead us to enact a different I, but we (or I) don't have to present them all at once. It would even be disadvantageous to do so at times. Or more often pointless to. (Why should I bring up LARPer-James-persona Zukie, a love-able, charismatic, and idiotic orc, in this post?)

I think that kernel might be what Kells is trying to get at with "how do students enact... who they are," but think that misses part of the point. And it is connected to the rights-based approaches to fixing exclusions of representation within modern liberalism. Modern liberalism relies on centralized identities (that kernel) to extend rights and representation to groups that were formerly excluded. For example, in America, originally only white men could vote - then black men - then white women - then black women... And we see protections from discrimination extended in a similar way - race, gender, sexuality, disability, etc. Proponents of this system say, oh, yes, it's flawed, but it's getting better each time it expands. Just give it time. This is true. It does get better with time, and there have been enormous improvements.

In this system the individual must take a feature of their personhood as (at least a major part of) the kernel of their identity. By doing so, they gain the stable ground (in a group, after a long struggle) to pressure for representation within and protection by the modern liberal state. With this approach come the problems and complications of identity politics and coalition politics. But I think Chloe's, may I dare say it, angst about representing herself - her identity- her, shall we collectively shudder, authentic self - a self she "can't really remember" - also emerges from this. Rather than leaving identities dispersed, asynchronic, multiple, and constructed by the relations and interactions with various and sometimes conflicting aspects of one's ecology, centralizing a identity that is supposed to capture all of these aspects is impossible. Something is always left out. This could create a nostalgia or a sense of loss, a desire to cling to who one really is. A desire to create a homogeneous history of one-self rather than an asynchronous we-self that exists at certain points, then doesn't, then does again, never lost, just not present. Centralizing identity removes the focus from presentation in its full multiplicity, making the beautiful play of presentation into a cheap and tawdry farce, a performance that always leaves us (me?) wanting more.

I don't actually know that that makes any sense writing this out. But... I'm going to continue anyway.

Within a Kellsian approach as we are talking about it, we seem to be talking about finding our own language (see Kristi's comment). Wasn't the point of Gallagher's activity several weeks back that we all speak many languages and Englishes. Wouldn't a translingual approach - or any approach that really appreciates difference rather than similarity - be less about mashing them into one voice - even for one person - and more about celebrating the various kinds that can be put to use in various ways as a resource? The act of centralizing them into one voice - even if we give up the idea of one, authentic Chloe - seems to accomplish the same thing as centralizing identity. Especially since we have a drive to connect language with culture and voice with self - another odd set of connections that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. Does this make any sense to anyone else?

I'm not sure what to do about feelings in this though. I think some of our feelings about identities could be explained by this process of centralizing identity and language in modern liberalism. The worry about not being "black enough" or "gay enough," feeling a pressure to perform in certain ways. The drive to excavate a history of a social group - revision historiography - would create a sense of continuity that the multiple, distributed, and asynchronic identity does not.... I don't know that I like this as of yet.